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B L O G G I N G O N A C I D

TRANNY PUNK DEATH FUCK VOLUME-9



Lillian BUTTER'S STUPID CELLPHONE
CALL LOGS

p r e s e n t e d fo r i l l u m i n at i n g c l u e s a n d d u l l p e r o u s a l !

walking arround kinna fucked up ground scoring cold hot choklits and coffeesa and drinking them to keep my mouth and hands busy in a city i dont live in now while fucking arround with my stupid cellphone and carrying lefty newspapers and pamphletes i dont read i just accumulate

J A N U A R Y 3 4 T H , 2 8 4
1 9 : 3 7
outgoing : filthydelphia-downtownrecipient:mary-belle kurtz accordianic swampsduration:17:12





may-be kunt
hey girl!! where the hell are yih ?!?

lily bugger
im in filthydelphia, i havent left yet....

may-be kunt
well what the fuck are yih doin'?? i miss you down here and you outta git back..

lily bugger
i miss you angel..

may-be kunt
ugh.., shut up.

lily bugger
whatever... im just kinda wandering arround... i'm a lil fucked up right now...

may-be kunt
i got myself in school now... i'm a little bit more a nurse... i went to the lady at the window and i puit my three hundred and forty two dollars that was my last money on her lil window and she made me papers and im a student

lily bugger
fuckin yes... thank fuck you got that

may-be kunt
dont go bein like a stupid proud of me or nuthin'. i dont need no fuckin support bein proud of me or dissapointed in me or all that

lily bugger
oh, fuck that, cunt... im not proud of you... im like "yay.. something worked for a change".... you know its like that or when they fuck you over im gonna hate them.. but if something good happens then i'll give you the credit for it and congradulate you...

may-be kunt
ha! ha! ha ha! ...

lily bugger
sisters right?

may-be kunt
yeh... ... .... the swamp is fucked...still... like it was when you were here cuz you know how it is

lily bugger
oh...

may-be kunt
well lemme tell yih... im back again witht the peoples relif project and i still walk arround the town telling people "fuck no i aint with them" cuz they still dont do nuthin right...im jus takin my own thing off and doin nurse school and i bide time and mind my Ps and Qs and i skim the kids who get burnt and be their support and dirrect them to my people i have in my communitee im in...

lily bugger
i dont got a lot of time on this phone card....

may-be kunt
lil miss k she gits cross at me cuz she picks up that im cross at stuff and then she dont git me and she makes it lkike its personal so i gotta keep eyes on that ... but she works for them to many hours... im just dooin my nurse school and bein in my communitee....remember my house i was workin on ?? well jus like i said they was goinna they took that while i was gone and they gave it to soem boys who didnt know shit waht they was doin and the built a floor and now the place has got mice and they aint even gonna use my house i got them as a communitee space anymore... they scarred off every communitee person i brought ans now they jus gonna use it as more volunteer housing and tech storage..

lily bugger
good gawd........... the peoples releif project..... kids ask me if its worth plugging in to and i hesitate but i tell them yes.. helping clear garbage and toxic waste out of the swamp... shoring up the houses for the residents... its worth doing... but fuck... way to spend %90 of yer fucking resources on increasing the size of your own organisation

may-be kunt
HA !HA! HA! AWE FUCK GIRL.. YEW KNOW TOO WELL !!! say that again... say that again!!!

lily bugger
i dont remember what i said now... im really kinda fucked up..im walking to a hardcore show.. i dunno wut im doing.

may-be kunt
naw let me tell you girl... i go to the clinic everyday.. and in this communitee i come as someone of a kind of privilage where alwasy before i was the lowest element in the services i sought and provided...

lily bugger
mare-bell ?...

may-be kunt
now i am a person off a perceeeeeee-ved privialage .. a privialge that is the creation of coming in to the communitee as a disaster voluteer stead of a street rat rising to make good... but my privilage is a construct of INCESTIOUS !!! suckling of resources withing the organisition that are way more available to the foreign voluteer masses.. than to the communitee they profess to want to serve...i take people...

lily bugger
mar-bll ?? i dont have alot of time on this...

may-be kunt
im trying to redirect them to the communitee, thees burnt out kids who i find, cuz i know how to pick the good ones.. and i say to them.. cuz i want the good kids to do good... i tell them that they cant serve a comunitee by coming in to it with their outsiders guilt.. tjhat guilt is created by a poor system of distribution of resources... no dumb fucking white kids are gonna come in to the fuckin swamp and steal black peoples jobs or swamp folks jobs. all the black folk who are here who want to work are workin... the government is hiring any who cant git a privvy contract and privvy contracts go to even the dimmest and laziest sorts.. its fuckin bullshit to think as a white kid you can come in to the swamp and think if you git a job you took it from a black man or a swamp folk.. cuz if yer white and you aint from the swamp and you got a job offer then its only cuz the folks who rightfully live here didnt want it...the voluteers live in a closed system,,, they think they have privilage but they're really just strangers gitting in the way of the distrobution system.. jobs aint the issue... go clean the fuckin swamp cuz thats what need be done and if you feel all sad that they givin you money to do it then spend it in the local fuckin ecconomy or MAKE A FUCKIN FREIND WHO LIVES IN THE SWAMP and ask him if any of his freinds or family need a bus tiket bought for them... theese kids need to know who they are serving and i see best is that they live and break bread with them to do so... white kids should think they're so privilaged enuff to be able to BAD for the communitee they tryin to help.. they dont cuz on that front they's just an ant fart... but they do have the power to be usefull if they wanna git usefull....and to do that they gotta quit appolgizing for being here while simultanious trying to tell people how to build a city in a swamp,,, when the swampo knows what it can be and will use the white kids as paid work to make it like they want it...

(this actually went on about 12 times as long)

lily bugger
mrybel.... i dont got alot of time on this phone card..

may-be kunt
.... well why you callin me then ?! when you gittin back here ??

lily bugger
i dont know... ive been about to got to pitt city for days but i just keep wandering off and wandering arround...i.... since ive been living in the swamp its been my favourite place on earth... i mean , swamp is a destroyed hell hole and its a nice externalisation of my shitty attitude... since ive been wandering arround tho... i mean.. up here in the north east theres fucking people and shows. swamp has one show a week and its the same 3 bands every week and i see the same 12 kids and .. theres stores up here.. people watching... i dunno......i dunno..

may-be kunt
listen... i got my name papers done... not the way like i was gonna where i leverage myself off the nurse schools paperwerks,,, but i think i got all my name papers and my eye dee cards n that with a trick i did where i bounced my self off the government...i gotta pretend i live in the penisual and then it takes 3 months but i prolly got my papers fixed...and then this fall i go on vacation

lily bugger
i know... i gotta get back to work .. i gotta get just $1500 more and i think thats right... but i DONT FEEL LIKE FUCKING WORKING... theres no other thing demanding that money from me and i just wanna.. not have to wake up and do shit for a breather....i dont even know if my old job still exists cuz ive fucked off for a month and still havent got my clothes out of storage and i dont wanna own shit or work towards goals i just wanna walk arround and have a 3 minute attention span..walk arround in big crowds of people and melt in to bullshit....

may-be kunt
well allright.. you done that for a month so do it for 3 more days and git home, i can git you work if need be.. im goin on vacation in the fall

lily bugger
me too... thats my plan.. the whole past buncha boys and bullshit reminds me i gotta.

may-be kunt
ive done a bunch of years of spinnin wheels and now im gittin all my stuff done.. I GOT MY nurse school and my name papers and all that... you spun yer wheels for years longer than me....its a good thing to git the stuff you gotta git togither and then you'll be a lil more happy and a lil more better and then its ready for act 2 right ?

lily bugger
yeh....... yeh......

(note: its like irony in a drier that mary-belle is get-my-shit-togither cheerleader... i kept meditating on that there was sumthin unsyncronous in ceasing to just spin wheels and get stuff done... it took me a bunch of hours to decide that its simply that getting my shit together feels like spinning my wheels as long as i have yet to cross any "goal line...".. blah blah blah...it was way more profound 10 hours ago)

may-be kunt
....?!?

lily bugger
i'll be back next week... i got....i have to get......um... i'll be back next week.

may-be kunt
you call me from pitt city.. i got some things i got hidden there i need you to go fetch for me

lily bugger
yeh... i know...

may-be kunt
you gotta call so i can tell yih were they is cuz o'wise yih wont find em....

lily bugger
uh huh.... i... igotta find some people in filthy but im gonna leave in a day or 2 or 3....

may-be kunt
hey girl?

lily bugger
uh....i been walking arround the whole time ive been talking to you and now i dont know were i am.... uh.......

may-be kunt
fuck you you stupid cunt.

lily bugger
heh..... fuck you , twat.









walking arround rather fucked up sitting on the sidewalk cant sitt still thou and tweaker kid trying to hand sign wut the fuck at me so i walk 20 blocks sneak in to bars and watch the weirds kids dance in their cute clothes and steal their drinks they dont want anymore, look at other old creeps watching cute kids have fun , see myself in a car window with my funny valerysolanis hat and a groundscore cigarette and if dirty and fuzzy and have shitty hair and bloody split lip from weather+behavior and im a shitty lil rat hag creep and i like me and think im cute but i might be to ugly to make freinds some day soon. wutever.


J A N U A R Y 3 5 T H , 2 8 4
0 1 : 0 7
outgoing : filthydelphia-downtownrecipient:dick cosmonaut filthydelphia-westduration:02:13




dick cossmos
...fuh ??!! ahhh !!!!

lily buggered
hey dick... its lily...

dick cossmos
whut ??? fuck ?!?!?

lily buggered
am i waking you up ? are you sleeping ??

dick cossmos
ARRRRG !!! YOU ARE A DUMB ANNOYING BITCH !!!

lily buggered
hi..

dick cossmos
no you are not waking me up.. .... what the hell do you want ??!?!?!?!

lily buggered
hey um.... i was totally gonna not stay at your house tonight... cuz i had this sex hook up... but the sissy bailed on me....

dick cossmos
whatever....

lily buggered
like i was totally supposed to go have sex with this weird kid... they'r ekinda like... a ... their in a "weird self identity space" and they like punk stuff and girls like me.. so i was like... hey ! pussy with a roof over it!! (or whatever the kid has) that sounds like an evening... and im really fucking high so i can like whatever...

dick cossmos
...trns and punk is the mix....

lily buggered
but this lil fuckin sissy totallyy bailed on me... FUCKIN SISSY!!!! i mean i lowered my standards cuz... well... im talking like this cuz im way fuckin high right now

dick cossmos
...oh good fuckin lord...

lily buggered
but like.. hey... i didnt have any better game lined up anytime soon and this kid is in my rollodex and y'know.. worst case scenario its outreach work to "conficted identity masses..."

(do you know whut a "goth cam slut" is?)

dick cossmos
... lily... what are you fucking talking about??!.

lily buggered
like i feel like im lowering my standards but ... y'know.. this kid is all soft and skinny... posts lots of pics of their bum online... ok i dont actually know whut their head looks like cuz they never post that CUZ THEY'RE A LIL FUCKIN SISSY but dude I AM SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW I WAS STOKED TO DO IT JUST FOR THE FUCK OF IT... and to not sleep on yer couch for a day... but now i need to sleep on yer couch again... cuz im downtown and the sissy blew me off cuz thy're a stupid lil fuckin sissy... and... im gonna like.. do some stuff but then i'll come sleep on yer couch again.. if thats ok cuz im totally sorry and i suck...

dick cossmos
you are the sorriest fucking suck ever and yes you can sleep on my fucking couch because you are too pathetic for me to deny such a pathetic request... fuck!! lily , you suck ! SUUUUUUUUUUUCK !!!!!!!!!

lily buggered
Like i could totally have had sissy for a fuck snack... I'll eat fuckin anything!!! I LIVE ON SHIT I PICK OFF THE SIDEWALK AND DIG OUTTA THE TRASH.. MY FUCKIN SEX APPETITE IS CAST IRON LIKE MY ROTTING INNARDS!!! I'D LOVE TO EAT A LIL FUCKING SISSY AND BE LIKE "LISTEN BITCH !!! YOU WANNA GET WITH A BIG GIRL.. ILL TEACH YOU SOME SHIT.. OI DONBT GIVE A FUCK WHO FUCKS WHO... IM FUCKIN HIGH AS A FUCKIN KITE FLOWN OFF THE WING OF A SEVEN FOTY SEVEN AND ILL GET IN TO SOME SUCH SICK SHIT THAT THIS NASTY FUCKIN OLD HAG WENCH IS GONNA MAKE A LIL SISSY PUKE AND THEN ILL HAND FUCK 'ER WITH 'ER OWN PUKE FOR LUBE...... lil fuckin sissy flake stupid dumb ass..

dick cossmos
....uh huh......

lily buggered
......i figger i'll just climb in the window .....

dick cossmos
iu figured you'd do pretty much that... sigh...

lily buggered
dick im sorry im such a sucky couch surfing mooch...

dick cossmos
oh just shut up and deal with yerself...

lily buggered
i owe you so bad

dick cossmos
uh huh....

lily buggered
if yer ever semi homeless and stoned off yer gourd you can come live with me !!!

dick cossmos
...... great........ thats exactly my hopes and dreams right there...... being you AND living with you....... sounds like fucking paradise... great....

lily buggered
i mean like 9 times !!!

dick cossmos
wut?

lily buggered
9 times... i owe you.....

dick cossmos
uh... ok........

lily buggered
im sitting on this giant matress on the middle of the sidewalk... im gonna lie on this but i gotta go down to slott strret and look for kids i know....

dick cossmos
mmh hmm... uh huh... ok... mmm hmm.....

lily buggered
then im gonna climb in yer window ok ??

dick cossmos
lily... i really really hate you....

lily buggered
thats ok cuz i suck.

dick cossmos
well i hate you cuz you suck.. im glad we understand eachother... now shut up.


VOICE IN BACKGROUND
WHAT THE FUCK... NICE BED WEIRDO....

lily buggered
i gotta go... I'm sitting on a matress on the sidewalk and everybuddy is staring at me....

dick cossmos
yeh great. ok wutever bye.

*click*


the moral of this story is something about walking the line between one thing and some other apparently opposite thing that is really twosidesofthesamecoin like the cart and the horse are opposites but part of a system... that and dont put much faith is a fuck date who can text message but caint fucking actually phone you.



I DONT KNOW HOW YOU FOUND IT, BUT YOU ARE IN THE TsPx ARCHIVES !!!

YEP. A Library Gallery of ancient Trans Rants from back when i was young and angry. Thank to the Bio-s for trammpling my will and spirit !!
With my soul crushed I can now function as a blank eyed drone in society and not cause any trouble!!
yay !! I'm so emotionless with no soul and I'll never feel again !!!

THIS WAS WRITTEN years ago when i was young and sensitive (now i'm old and jaded). Fuck off with the hurt feelings hate mail. Stop disagreeing with me or i'll ride my bike to your town and hit you. Alot.



MY diary is really gross and embarasing.



I think this link goes to the index but I havent tried it.